Bliss

Last Spring goal #12 was crossed off the list. After a year of daily yoga practice and dabbling in different meditation techniques, I decided to take it one level higher, and learn the technique of Vipassana Meditation. After doing some intensive Internet research, I learned that this particular technique is one of the most intensive techniques out there. It is a Buddhist technique, over 2500 years old. As I scanned the technique and code requirements, I told myself I could do this. The introductory course lasts ten days, and the foundation of the practice is based on silence.

Basically, you take a vow of silence for ten days. You sit in meditation for ten hours a day in stretches that last from 2-3 hours. Intense. You are also required to follow a code of honesty, and eating vegan. I had a feeling it was going to be extreme, but I was up for the challenge. Oh and did I mention, no contact with the outside world. No phone. No email. No drama.

One of the aims of the technique is to penetrate the deepest levels of the unconscious mind, and learn how to eradicate the complexes living there.

So off I went to the ashram in pursuit of eradicating, and purging the toxins of mind. I can attempt to explain what happened in there, but it most likely will not make any sense to the outsider.

What I can tell you that ten days being alone with your own thoughts is trying, but in the end completely worth it. On the fourth day, I contemplated just calling it quits, but self -determined to complete the course I stayed. On the eighth day it was complete and utter silence in my mind. I can actually say it was bliss.

The time table was bit grueling, but after day two you're into the swing of things. Wake up bell is at 4:00 a.m, and lights out at 9:30.

Ten days is hardly enough time to purge every complexity, but I can tell you that I left a very toxic person behind in the crevices of the ashram. The sacredness of the meditation hall released years of negative energy associated with a particular ex, who continued to have a presence in my mind. He stuck around in my mind for way too long, and one day he was finally gone. Gone baby gone.

The premise is a technique of pure regarding, no mantras, no music, no guides. You sit through the discomfort, through the silence. The technique is taught by a guru, who gives daily instructions. See the thing is, in our day to day lives we are bombarded with all kinds of discomforts- emotional, physical and psychological. With the technique in hand, we can know whole heartily that it will pass.

The principals learned follow the Buddhist traditions, and you don't need to be a Buddhist to practice. But practicing love, kindness, gratitude and forgiveness daily are one sure way to live a happier and healthier life.

Without fail, there were some mishaps, like unknowingly putting on someone else's shoes at 4:00 am. in the pitch black, and realizing after leaving the hall that my own shoes were not there. I realized that I had actually slipped on the wrong foot wear. Imagine not being to tell the person you stole their shoes (due to noble silence), but secretly watching them freak out when they can't find their shoes.

I will write more on my personal experiences with my first course as time goes on, and will do my best to explain the sheer joy and love that I felt within upon completion of the course. For now, I will leave it at this, as I am heading off for another course, in hopes of reaching bliss once again.

This course is a simple three day- I don't know that I have the dedication to sit another ten day! I am not sure what will be eradicated this time around, but I look forward to discovering what lays ahead. See you in a few days.


Should you wish to research the technique, please visit http://www.dhamma.org/. There are ashrams around the world.

The DD

A very peculiar thing happened this Saturday night. As the week closed in on Saturday night's plan to celebrate another thirtieth birthday party, a few of us from the more rural areas chatted back and forth agreeing to ride share our way into town.

Back in the day, we fought tooth and nail over who wasn't going to be the DD. And there it was, four grown women, duking it out , because each one wanted to take their own cars so that they could leave the party early.

Has it really come to this? Are we seriously that old?

Serendipity

A few old friends got together last night, as the wine and conversation flowed, we talked politics, religion and favorite flicks.  And then came serendipity. 

Serendipity:  the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely. The concept is often applied to scientific findings, such as the discovery of penicillin, or helium. But as I looked around the dinner table, it got me thinking.  To me, its interchangeable with the likes of  fate, timing and chance. Finding the one. 

I am sure we can all agree that at some point in our dating lives, we've come across what appear to be those fairy tale urban myths- the couple who "just knew"; that couple who found each other while traveling to far off places-and finding that person who just seemed to show up everywhere they went; or the success stories of the two people who found each other online just as they were about to close off their dating accounts or even the couple who made eye contact one night from across the bar and ending up finding each other three years down the road. 

Ahh, the stories, that keep us singles holding out for our own serendipity. As I looked at the couples before me, a certain chemistry  was apparent. The glances and lingering touches that generated electricity in the room.  Big hugs and gentle kisses exchanged between lovers. Somehow, you just know that these two people are just meant to be. 

As I ponder the stories that have materialized before my eyes, it gives me hope. A sense of excitement knowing that this really does happen. Filled with optimism that true love really does exist.  But most importantly its knowing that when the timing is right, the right person shows up. 

Life happens...

She turned 28. Of course she is happy, she hasn't hit the big "3-0"! Nevertheless, a dear friend of mine read my blog for the first time. Oddly, I feel like my words touched her somehow, and in turn her gratitude touched me as well.

Simply put, she wrote me a personal note, " Your thoughts made me realize that turning another year older and being single is something I should embrace, accept and enjoy".

I couldn't have said it more eloquently and must give back thanks for those older and wiser than myself who also graced me with their words of wisdom.

For me, being single isn't about waiting around and expecting miracles to happen. I go on about my life, learning and growing all the time. I've come to peace with who I am, what I am about and what I want in life and in a significant other.

Don't get me wrong, It took me awhile to sort it all out and rebuild myself from a toxic relationship. Over the past two years, I have truly discovered my true goals and passions and are putting them into action.

I am so thankful for the relationship I have built with myself and look forward to many more years of self-discovery.

I've been told that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Go on, get out there!

Break or Break -Up?

Dating in our teens and twenties boyfriends would often insist that they needed "a break" from the girl they were dating. Or the couple themselves both decided to "take a break". I never really understood what a "break" meant exactly I thought it was just something guys and girls used when they were younger to sound cool. Operative word being younger.


Unfortunately, to my surprise men are still using this concept in their thirties. Seriously? Cowards. My girlfriend's guy attempted this sly maneuver on her last week. Just so we are clear, let's try and define a break. If you're on a break, you don't see each other or talk to each other. So what is the point? What do you do on a break anyway? What are the rules? What are the guidelines? Time lines?

Unless there is valid reason for a break, such as successful candidate for contestant on a reality TV show or an unexpected trip to the Artic for a pre -determined amount of time, then I can see it passing. But seriously...

Isn't a "break" just another way of saying break up? In my opinion its a wussy way of breaking up. Give it up boys ( or should I say men?) . Lets call a spade a spade. A break is really just a break up disguised- where men are too scared to be honest. Just say what you mean. Please.

Saturday Night Singles

She wasn't kidding! As the rain beat down outside on Saturday, she asked me what I wanted to do. First thought. Be Cozy. I looked out toward the window, it was grey, drizzly and miserable out. "Ummm... Stay home and watch a movie? I said with a inquisitive brow. She didn't like the sound of that. She told me that I had been single too long, and scorned my choice of renting a good flick. Then she kindly reminded me that I wasn't 50.

"Think." she said. "Where are all the men on a Saturday Night? - cause that's where we're going." Her fingers drummed against the table, eagerly awaiting my go ahead with Saturday night plans. After I kiboshed most of her suggestions, we quickly realized that it was hockey night. Now we were on to something. We checked the game listing and saw that we were in for a good game. She looked at me and smiled. "Beer + Grub + Hockey+ Pub = Men", she remarked. "Game starts at Seven", I said. "Be here at 6:30", she replied with a grin.

And off we went, two singles on a Saturday Night in search of some single men watching a good old hockey game.

As we were seated and scanned the pub, our waitress brought us our drinks. After a few laughs our glasses clinked in unison. "To being Friends and To being single!" the chin chin inferred.

Throughout the night, men dwindled in and out of the pub. Although we didn't meet the men of our dreams, we did enjoy the game and had a really great time.

My How Things Change!

7 days ago, I was the last one standing. Officially the last of my kind in my group of girl friends. I was wildly ecstatic for my girlfriend who has been waiting a long time for this man to arrive! After the giddiness subsided, my mind decided to conjure up all sorts of horrible thoughts. One thought leading to the next, and each passing thought was more awful than the one before it.

Visions of myself being the 18th wheel at all of our upcoming functions; not being invited out to dinner parties because I had no man by my side; Images of endless Friday and Saturday nights alone as the others were coupled off at "date nights" around the city. To my horror, my mind went on a tizzy: Images of myself at 50 with 12 cats and a cabinet full of Chardonnay was all I could think of.

5 minutes later I shook it off, and got on with things. Then the strangest thing happened-

3 days ago, we were back to two. One of my girlfriends was back in the single life. The compassionate side of me was saddened by the news, no one likes a break -up. But the selfish side of me was happy to hear that my friend has joined me back on the other side of life. The single life. Despite her sadness, I think she's ready to move forward, and she's let on that we're about to take on the dating world.

Here we come. Watch Out.