Life happens...

She turned 28. Of course she is happy, she hasn't hit the big "3-0"! Nevertheless, a dear friend of mine read my blog for the first time. Oddly, I feel like my words touched her somehow, and in turn her gratitude touched me as well.

Simply put, she wrote me a personal note, " Your thoughts made me realize that turning another year older and being single is something I should embrace, accept and enjoy".

I couldn't have said it more eloquently and must give back thanks for those older and wiser than myself who also graced me with their words of wisdom.

For me, being single isn't about waiting around and expecting miracles to happen. I go on about my life, learning and growing all the time. I've come to peace with who I am, what I am about and what I want in life and in a significant other.

Don't get me wrong, It took me awhile to sort it all out and rebuild myself from a toxic relationship. Over the past two years, I have truly discovered my true goals and passions and are putting them into action.

I am so thankful for the relationship I have built with myself and look forward to many more years of self-discovery.

I've been told that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Go on, get out there!

Break or Break -Up?

Dating in our teens and twenties boyfriends would often insist that they needed "a break" from the girl they were dating. Or the couple themselves both decided to "take a break". I never really understood what a "break" meant exactly I thought it was just something guys and girls used when they were younger to sound cool. Operative word being younger.


Unfortunately, to my surprise men are still using this concept in their thirties. Seriously? Cowards. My girlfriend's guy attempted this sly maneuver on her last week. Just so we are clear, let's try and define a break. If you're on a break, you don't see each other or talk to each other. So what is the point? What do you do on a break anyway? What are the rules? What are the guidelines? Time lines?

Unless there is valid reason for a break, such as successful candidate for contestant on a reality TV show or an unexpected trip to the Artic for a pre -determined amount of time, then I can see it passing. But seriously...

Isn't a "break" just another way of saying break up? In my opinion its a wussy way of breaking up. Give it up boys ( or should I say men?) . Lets call a spade a spade. A break is really just a break up disguised- where men are too scared to be honest. Just say what you mean. Please.

Saturday Night Singles

She wasn't kidding! As the rain beat down outside on Saturday, she asked me what I wanted to do. First thought. Be Cozy. I looked out toward the window, it was grey, drizzly and miserable out. "Ummm... Stay home and watch a movie? I said with a inquisitive brow. She didn't like the sound of that. She told me that I had been single too long, and scorned my choice of renting a good flick. Then she kindly reminded me that I wasn't 50.

"Think." she said. "Where are all the men on a Saturday Night? - cause that's where we're going." Her fingers drummed against the table, eagerly awaiting my go ahead with Saturday night plans. After I kiboshed most of her suggestions, we quickly realized that it was hockey night. Now we were on to something. We checked the game listing and saw that we were in for a good game. She looked at me and smiled. "Beer + Grub + Hockey+ Pub = Men", she remarked. "Game starts at Seven", I said. "Be here at 6:30", she replied with a grin.

And off we went, two singles on a Saturday Night in search of some single men watching a good old hockey game.

As we were seated and scanned the pub, our waitress brought us our drinks. After a few laughs our glasses clinked in unison. "To being Friends and To being single!" the chin chin inferred.

Throughout the night, men dwindled in and out of the pub. Although we didn't meet the men of our dreams, we did enjoy the game and had a really great time.

My How Things Change!

7 days ago, I was the last one standing. Officially the last of my kind in my group of girl friends. I was wildly ecstatic for my girlfriend who has been waiting a long time for this man to arrive! After the giddiness subsided, my mind decided to conjure up all sorts of horrible thoughts. One thought leading to the next, and each passing thought was more awful than the one before it.

Visions of myself being the 18th wheel at all of our upcoming functions; not being invited out to dinner parties because I had no man by my side; Images of endless Friday and Saturday nights alone as the others were coupled off at "date nights" around the city. To my horror, my mind went on a tizzy: Images of myself at 50 with 12 cats and a cabinet full of Chardonnay was all I could think of.

5 minutes later I shook it off, and got on with things. Then the strangest thing happened-

3 days ago, we were back to two. One of my girlfriends was back in the single life. The compassionate side of me was saddened by the news, no one likes a break -up. But the selfish side of me was happy to hear that my friend has joined me back on the other side of life. The single life. Despite her sadness, I think she's ready to move forward, and she's let on that we're about to take on the dating world.

Here we come. Watch Out.

How Ironic

" I feel so old!", she quipped. I did a double take, just to make sure she was talking to me. As she stood in front of the mirror reapplying her crimson gloss, I watched her reflection in the mirror. I noted that this child didn't look a day over 20, about 120 pounds and wearing the latest fashion trend. "Pardon me?", I stammered. This perky barely twenty something babbled on about the clothing choices of the younger women in the bar, she commented on how thin, young and risque the girls were. She confided that when she was their age she would have never worn what the "younger" girls were wearing now- and then she admitted that she felt too old to be in this particular bar. As she made some final alterations to her own attire and pouffed her hair, I watched her. You have no idea kiddo. No idea at all. I giggled, "Do you mind telling me how old you are?". She smucked her lips, ensuring the gloss was evenly distributed, and smiled. "22!" she exclaimed.

Instead of giving in to my desire to shake the twig and complain about how it feels for us older ladies, I opted instead to concede. "I know exactly how you feel", I said with a grin.

We stood alone in the washroom for another second, and with a flick of her hair she darted off. As I took a moment to stare at my own reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but smile. It dawned on me that she must have thought I was give-er take the same age. If she only knew that 5 minutes before heading to the ladies room myself, my friends and I had just finished griping about all the college kids in the bar!

A Whole New Category.

Okay so I've been 30 now for little over a month. Nothing really new has transpired. I can't say that anything out of the ordinary has happened to remind me of my milestone birthday.

In the past month or so, I've been asked to state my age on two occasions (one cringing and one confidently), the latter was followed by an astonished 23 year old male (hot by the way), who gasped and informed me that he would have never guessed that I was 30.  How sweet. Wild thoughts ran through my head at alarming speed, and for a second I thought I may have kissed him passionately for his kind remark.  But gathering my witts, simply smiled and thanked him. 

Oh yes, and probably the most significant event was the survey I was required to fill out last week.  30 questions. As I responded questions 1 through 19 with ease, question 20 caught me off guard. There it was.  

20. What category does your age fall into? 

[ ] Under 18

[ ] 18- 24

[ ] 25-29

[ ]30-34

[ ] 35-49

[ ] 50 +

With a gulp, I checked the new category. A whole new category. 30-34. Wow. And there it was, the first time I officially had to put myself in a new age bracket.  I admit, I had a momentary (internal) freak-out. Why is it so damn  important for these surveys to know our age category anyway? 

Ummm...

Okay so maybe I was being a bit hasty- like, you know, I don't need a relationship because I love being unattached kinda stint.. But here is the truth- I am happy... but anyone who says they absolutely don't want a little loving is not being honest with themselves. Seriously, there are times when I secretly cross my fingers behind my back every time I walk into a new bar or am about to meet new acquaintances. Deep down, I don't think it would be so bad to drop the single status. I am reminded of a "situation" not too long ago, where being single was the worst thing that had ever happened and I would have just died to be a "we".

I had been invited to dine with some friends and we met up one fine summer evening on the street before entering. As I watched the people file in, I noticed some unfamiliar faces. My girlfriend confided that she had invited some new "couple friends". As I stood in line waiting for the Maitre D' to seat our reserved table of 12, I took a good look at the group around me and noticed that we were 13. The gang piled in and without hestitation a myriad of confusion broke out as people tried to figure out the seating arrangements to ensure that those two and these two could chat, and those two and these two couldn't sit next to each other... oh and those two and these two have nothing in common.... you catch my drift. Finally, after all were seated, the only one left standing was... of course- me. You got it: 12 +1. As the restaurant staff hurried to get me seated, they found an extra chair in the back room (our waiter was required to yell over the louder than normal chatter of the diners to another waiter nearest the kitchen to ensure the chair was retrieved). At last the chair arrived and I was placed at the head of the table (actually at the head of the table, in the area where the wait staff zoom through with plates and call orders to the kitchen- the seat where huffs were snarled as they squeezed past my chair).

If this wasn't bad enough, I was seated in front of couple I hadn't met before and after some brief introductions the new couple inquired , "Boyfriend couldn't make it ?". With scenes from Bridget Jones playing over and over in my mind, I stammered, "I'm single". "Really?", they chimed in unison. "Really", I maintained. The attention quickly turned as they engaged with the other diners. I excused myself and made a mad dash for the some air. As I held back tears that began to sting my eyes- I knew right there and then that sometimes I really didn't like being single at all.