All alone for Christmas

For the first time in my life, it really doesn't feel like Christmas time at all. Downtown Daegu is lined with a few Christmas trees full of twinkling lights and sparkling decorations- carols can be heard as you wander past the rows of shops- bakeries present beautiful sweet treats in the windows... but the Christmas cheer is far from home.

This year, as I celebrate Christmas a little differently in the land of the morning calm- I realize that even though I may be "alone" for Christmas, miles away from family and friends- I am not completely alone. For those of us who find ourselves in Korea for Christmas we have gathered around and made new Christmas memories. There may not be any chestnuts roasting on an open fire, snowflakes streaming from the skies or gifts under the tree- but we do have new friendships to toast to.

For the past 30 years Christmas has been spent dashing from one house to the other, lugging gifts, and indulging in one meal after another. This year I have avoided Christmas crowds; gift lists; trimming the tree; wrapping; packaging; cooking; baking; cleaning; driving; de-decorating the tree, and weeks vacuuming up the remnants of the pine scented tree (the most dreaded of holiday activities) that have made up my Christmas ritual year after year.

Although I am rejoicing in the fact that this year I have managed to escape the Christmas craziness- there is something to be said for celebrating the real spirit of Christmas.

Nothing feels more like Christmas than to have friends and family dropping in, the joy and laughter that comes with gathering around the tree; giving and receiving presents and toasting to the holidays. Despite all my delight to the no stress approach this year, I think I would trade it all in just to be home for the holidays.

Templestay

In the past two years I've sat through intensive Vipassana Meditation courses. Vipasassana mediation is one of Asia's most ancient techniques of meditation attributed to Gautama Buddha. Having experienced some powerful insight, liberation and detachment during these sittings, I've always been drawn to experiencing more.

If you're going to teach English in Korea, I highly recommend participating in a TempleStay. In Korea, the temple gates open to those who wish to be introduced and experience Buddhism. The Korean Buddhism tradition has existed for over 1700 years and participating in Templestay is one of the many rich cultural experiences one can do in Korea.

For 24 hours we experienced the unique lifestyle of Buddhist practitioners. We settled on Haeinsa Temple which offers the full cultural experience. High in the mountains, surrounded by thousand year old trees, ponds, and pathways this temple offered more than just natural beauty.

We were surrounded my monks (Sunim) in traditional robes, the many temples nestled in the forests and the sounds of wind chimes clamouring in the wind. Our host was a Korean Monk who spoke perfect English, and his story touched us all. He , like many monks lived a so-called normal life just as you and I. A life of attachment, material possessions and suffering. I am so grateful for his words, wisdom and insight.

The stay begins at with an opening ceremony at 16:00- we were given traditional clothing and shown to our rooms. The men and women are of course separated. A simple dwelling: you are given blankets and pillows and sleep on the comfort of the heated floor.

We were taught about temple banner, how to bow and basic Buddhist philosophies. At 17:00 We were treated to Balwoo-gongyang (a traditional Buddhist meal) and then to the main temple for Ye-bool at the 18:00. The Ye-boo is the Buddhist ritual that pays respect to Buddha.

To participate and observe hundreds of monks in the temple, chanting and bowing was one of the most amazing and beautiful things that I have ever seen. The energy that filled the room was indescribable. We bowed with them, and quietly observed the ritual.

At 19:00 we engaged in a Da-do- a Tea Ceremony with our Sunim; where he told us of his University days, including tragic suffering that finally led him to his path of becoming a Buddhist monk. The Buddhists claim that while drinking tea we are enjoying life. The whole ceremony was quite the process from the brewing to the drinking.

We talked about life, it's meaning, Buddhist precepts, faith and the Matrix. We talked for hours, quietly reflecting and tasting our tea. Lights out was at 21:00, as Korean Buddhists are the one of the few who rise the earliest.

The Sunim's rise at 02:30. In the darkness of the night, with the moon shining high in the sky, the monks perform a traditional drum ceremony. The pre-dawn ceremony is ignited by the drums that can be heard at 03:10, waking the animals, mammals, and lastly the humans. We joined again in the main hall at 04:00. The chants awakening every human form in the room. As the monks chant in unison, you can feel the energy flowing through your entire body.

The thought of the sacredness and the awakening of our bodies and minds at 03:00 was truly eye-opening. Normally, we would all still be out at the bars traipsing around trying to make our way home.

We were shown how to bow and at 05:00 we participated in the chanting of a thousand hands led by a senior monk and performed 108 bows. We sat through a 45 minute Zen Meditation sitting with perfect posture and breathing. We were again served tea, and had delighted to a modest breakfast.

In the morning calm, we we shown how to make our own Prayer beads. 108 strung along in complete silence. The monks say the significance of making the beads is not in the bead itself- but that the beads are meaningful because they contain within them our prayers and hopes.

We walked the grounds in full meditation and the stay wrapped up shortly after lunch. For nearly 24 hours, you are connected to your body and mind- and I was reminded of how much I truly need to remove themselves from the toxicity and negative influences in the world.

As a result of enduring some major pains some years ago, I committed to a journey to seek myself. To seek my true self. My purpose, my life and my passions. I can tell you that over the past two years my path to self-discovery has taken me to places within myself I'd never dreamed of going. I don't know that I will be able to seek enlightenment- but I do know that I am closer to fulfilling my true purpose and am so grateful to those who have shown up on my path.

May all beings be happy.

One's a Company

Having moved out out of the comfort of my family home and on my own at the age of 22 - I've had my fair share of living arrangements. Looking back, I probably should have stayed at home until I at least finished University - saved some cash and built a comfortable stash of bills.

But with choices come experiences. For eight years, I lived on my own, well not entirely on my own.. I of course as so many have had to do , I've shared accommodations with other people.

Roommates came and went as the years went by: and so did my sanity. My first apartment was with a girlfriend, we lived together for a few years. We shared laughter, some tears and of course a few fights (I'm happy to report we are still talking). I've shared with a man who didn't want to clean because he argued that he did not contribute to the dust and grime. He also refused to split the purchase of toilet paper claiming he didn't use as much as females. He was also a bar tender- and quite the ladies man! We had a younger male who rejoiced in his cleaning skills, but never laid a hand on any of the supplies- he also blessed us with a cat in heat. Some of my best years were spent with two girlfriends- but as life went on they moved on with their lives. My last two years were spent with a male who hid from me- he stole my food, was late on bills and nearly caused me a serious mental breakdown.

There was no better time to leave my apartment after eight years and move on with my own life. The first few weeks living on my own were bliss. You can eat, clean, vedge, watch whatever you want and even dance around naked. But being on your own slowly loses it's appeal. I know one day, I will look back on this alone time as a god-send- but there are days when it gets pretty lonely. Sometimes, I catch myself talking to no one, and once I actually caught myself talking to an inanimate object.

There is something to be said for sharing living space with others- even if you think you're going to go mad. There is a comfort in interpersonal relationships even if you're not romantically involved. For now, I'll just have to be content with my own company- but two's company is just that much better.

Item number 57

I crossed another thing off my list last week-end. Number 57 on the list was to stay in hostel. I'd always imagined that my hostel experience would have been in some exotic area- maybe Australia or New Zealand or even Thailand. Looking back on when I wrote this to-do item on my list, I would have never expected it would have been accomplished in Seoul, Korea.

Travelling to Seoul with two 22 year old males was quite the experience- staying in a hostel was quite another. We were headed to Hongdae, Seoul Korea. A trendy and young area of Seoul with plenty of clubs, people and things to do. The boys decided in advance on a hostel stay- lodging for a rock bottom price!

I was slightly apprehensive as I had never even stayed in something like this. I was used to the hotel life, a room with one bed, own bathroom and living space. Even in Europe I did it in style. My initial thoughts on a hostel were of concern. Who would be sleeping there? How many people? What about bathroom etiquette, food, noise? Each passing thought brought on another- until I to force myself to quit the bantering in my head.

We arrived at Hongdae Guesthouse promptly at 10:00 p.m. The guys had no trouble at all introducing themselves to the owner; and getting acquainted with the layout. We were shown to our quarters by the lovely owner, Mary. A quirky and humorous woman, she bustled about ensuring our accommodations were satisfactory. We were given the code, and ushered inside.

One bathroom, one computer, a half kitchen and two bunk beds. A upstairs loft housed three mattresses on the floor. The three of us trudged upstairs, unpacking a few belongings and setting up for the night. For a mere 20, 000 won we were housed, showered and treated to toast, coffee and orange juice in the morning.

The guests were travellers coming and going from all over Asia. Some had been there a week- and a few were just passing the night. The hardest part was the universal washroom- with a stranger right outside the door tapping away on the computer's keyboard. Privacy in a hostel doesn't quite exist!

The bottom line is that hostels are the cheapest way to go. I'm not sure I would do it again- unless of course it was in some exotic location like Costa Rica or Bali. But at least, I've crossed another item off the list!

Routines

One of my good girlfriend's told me something once that I have never forgotten. Being half way around the World this statement couldn't be any truer.

She told me that it doesn't matter where you go, or where you choose live-- you always end up back in the same routine. The routine that is comfortable and familiar.

Despite struggling at times with my life here in Korea- I've managed to just about fit all of my familiar things into my life here.

I work, go to the gym, eat, download all of my favorite (North American) shows, read, sleep and go at it again. A few nights a week, I may enjoy the company of my Korean teachers and other nights I meet up with friends for dinner and drinks. Nothing much has changed- except I'm doing it all in Korea!

The best part is that while I've fallen back into my routines- I get the added benefits of seeing some amazing things; learning all about a new culture; taking day trips and week-end trips all over the country.

I may have left the comfort of my routine back home; and although I'm making new ones here- I'm shaking things up everyday and look forward to the next adventure all the time.

Livin it Up!

Here in Korea- I don't really feel thirty. I mean well yes, of course the mirror reflects back a few (minor) tolls of gravity on my body- but besides that I am living it up as though I were some twenty year old most of the time.

I am one of few people around here in the three-oh category. I am surrounded by early to mid-twenty somethings- most of whom have just graduated from University and left the comfort of their parents homes.

The kids here party like rock stars and manage to make it out every Friday and Saturday to the hippest bars and clubs. They stumble home at all of hours of the morning- sleep it off and return several hours later to do it all over again.

I attempted to keep up with this lifestyle my first few weeks of being here- for the most part I was able to keep up (really there is nothing much else to do here on weekends)- and to my contentment many were shocked when they discovered my stamina when they learned of my age.

Last month, I came to the conclusion that the parade around town re-living my life as though I were twenty must come to an end. I've become aware of the fact that I just cannot handle going out two nights in a row anymore. My body has rejected this back-to-back notion with full force. It is reminded of my late nights and weekend binges back in the day- and has cautioned me to act my own age.

So as the decision to live it up one night a week has surfaced- I will try and make the best of it while my body is still able to keep up.

Holy Over the Hill

Weeknights can get a bit boring around here. To mix things up my friends and I try and meet up mid week to have a drink and grab dinner. There are so many restaurants around Daegu- you really have a lot to choose from.

You can find just about anything from traditional Korean, to Japanese, Chinese and even Indian. There are some wonderful Italian places, and we've even found some cozy French restaurants. Of course there is the all American eateries too. Over here they're called ex-pat places.

Within are first few weeks of arrival we located a highly talked about restaurant and sports lounge. They call it the Holy Grill. Located east of Rodeo Street it's a 2 floor establishment. The menu has some quality tastes from home, including Mexican food, real buffalo chicken wings, burgers and the best staple from back home- poutine.

My friend and I had heard about Wednesday Night's Wing Night- say we decided to give it a go this week. The sports lounge was empty with only the two of us chowing down on some fantastic wings and fries. The screen was playing highlights of the Hockey games- and really it felt just like being at home.

We were kinda hoping there would be more atmosphere- or at least a few more bodies- but nevertheless we entertained ourselves. As we finished the last several bites of our meal, two new customers entered the place.

I must admit, the male caught my eye. He was awfully cute. Then from behind him the female figure emerged. As the two took a seat at the far end of the bar, we struck up a conversation.

Turns out Mr. Looker was from my hometown, and he and his girlfriend attended the same University as myself. The girlfriend was absolutely ecstatic to know that we attended the same University, and proudly informed me that she had just graduated in May. That's correct- May 2009. As she took a swig from her beer, she eagerly asked me when I had graduated. She took another gulp and awaited my response.

"Umm, 2003", I replied with an edge of confidence. The girl wrinkled her nose and said half hazardly, "wowwww. That's a long time ago!", and returned to her drink.

And there it was: A young twenty something alluding to the fact that I was OLD. The nerve.

I contemplated how to respond. On one hand, I could have agreed with her and made a fuss and rambled on about how old I really was... but then it hit me. I was reminded at that moment of a quote I had skimmed over a while back:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter (Mark Twain).